pure….liberty… the Purification and Liberation.

8 04 2013

Last week’s cleanse brought me with a surprising boost of energy, tranquility and a seven pound weight loss. During this time I reflected on the beauty of myself, and the world around me. I allowed myself to break from this during the weekend’s festivities, and all too swiftly the old self, emotions and ego began the writhing dance of obnoxious ridiculousness. I had an interesting conversation with a friend today, who was feeling a bit fearful of the current state of things in the world, and when I logged on to facebook earlier I found that they were not alone. I ciphered through countless posts that had an undercurrent of fear, hopelessness and malice. And thus I have declared, that until my birthday (which is my celebration from my cleanse day) I will fast also from facebook. It is only a small step, but perhaps it will begin a habit for me. I will be blogging, and sharing my blog postings on facebook to keep in contact, but until April 18th, I will not log on. More on this tomorrow, I feel the dreams calling.

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illuminate. rejuvenate.

23 03 2013

Spring forward.

Hello spring. I had forgotten it was time for your visit… Perhaps I was avoiding facing what I haven’t accomplished yet. I have my own quiet (and sometimes not so quiet) hours of mourning the creations I have not created just before the light changes and the air shifts to the undeniable arrival of the new season. This time, this equinox- I had to ask myself: Why do I always focus on what didn’t manifest, instead of acknowledging what did? I pick myself apart at old desires left unfulfilled. I have a long struggle with past yearnings that are based on rather outdated archetypes of self that no longer fit the big picture of my life. I realized it wasn’t necessarily an attachment to old versions of reality, rather a fear of what the new story would tell. In the grace of seeing the minor victories, I see the open doors that were once walls. I long to see the changes happen, but cringe at the process required to bring those changes. I must remind myself, once more- the process is more important than the end results. In the process lies all the experiences, all the songs, all the lovely moments. Once the shift into the new paradigm born from the change occurs, the process is over, and a new process begins. Life is climbing your own Everest, and finding yourself at the summit. So welcome, spring- dear old friend. I stand in the light of this new time, this new promise, this new process and I will not stand down. I will weather the calluses in my hands from jagged rocks, the exhaustion of moving forward and the fear of falling. I recognize that I am anchored, and that with each ascension welcomes me with a moment of tranquility and rest before another time of intensity. Welcome, Sun.

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“A. E. Waite suggested that this card is associated with attained knowledge. An infant rides a white horse under the anthropomorphized sun, with sunflowers in the background. The child of life holds a red flag, representing the blood of renewal while a smiling sun shines down on him, representing accomplishment. The conscious mind prevails over the fears and illusions of the unconsciousInnocence is renewed through discovery, bringing hope for the future.” 





Is there a tether through the underworld?

30 09 2012

I’m not sure how anyone else has been feeling over the past few months, I’ve heard feedback from some of my more intimate friends that it’s been a bit of a challenge over the last quarter for them as well. I personally, I have been riding the waves of a funk that has lasted a few months. Some weeks it’s great, others it’s textbook personal hell. I could chalk it off to being life, growing older, astrological occurrence, saturn’s return, weaning hormones, etc etc. But at the same time, we are all in this together. I discovered the light at the end of the tunnel, I began to see it’s glimmer near the time of the equinox. I had a few exchanges with a good friend that she too was feeling a turn around from her recent setbacks. This past week has been filled was beautiful, serendipitous surprise. I had three conversation with very good friends that I had fallen out of touch with, I began to feel the love growing for my environment, as well as discovering new opportunities that I had been designing the scenario for in my mind all during the funk period. I had a thought- are these down periods necessary for manifestation to occur? I feel like when I’m going through these times I learn the lessons, or at least am given the potential experiences to further explore a deeper awareness and understanding of these lessons, that are necessary for me to grow into my new reality that supports the material creation that I sought. What type of anchors can be used to help one not lose a conscious state of awareness when exploring the shadow of the self? Is there a tether through the underworld? If there is, it must be of my design, of course. Like the spinning top DiCaprio’s  character uses in Inception, there must be a totem to remind us where we are, so we do not lose our self. I am grateful for the time that just passed, it was one hell of a ride, but what amazing joy it brings! It is the fear that turns the darkness into a prison. But we must face our darkness in order to understand our light. Image





Joy, Happiness… Eudaimonia and Lola Daydream

10 09 2012

So after the unexpected and annoying death of the laptop (though, in hindsight, much appreciated cleanse of old self attached to a stupid machine)… I’m back with the power of a purple gateway pavilion g6! This lap top makes me want to write much more often, so here’s to continuing promises of new habits!

This past week, er two… has been fast paced and full of lots of lessons as well as joy. Joy is something that I am attempting to cultivate more of in every moment of my life. I find that when I stop, breathe and find the joy in each situation, I can go deeper in my awareness of the world around as well as within me. I had a few moments this week I wasn’t too proud of, I lost my awareness and allowed my subconscious little girl to carry a megaphone. I said things I didn’t mean, had a tantrum, and stepped outside of myself to see a map of each moment in my life when I began to think in the specific categorical ways that caused a loss of grace. In Unity recently, we’ve been talking about blessing each new thing that comes into our lives. I see these moments as gifts from the Universe for having a more complete view of the entire issue, and see the lesson as a whole. It’s a funny experience, seeing yourself on the outside and realizing how ludicrous it is to carry on with the expected role. I have bigger, more interesting roles to play.

Joy. What is it? How do we define it? Joy is synonymous with happiness, and yet happiness is full of endless definitions and also undefinable. I decided to play the Wikipedia game.From Joy to Happiness to Eudaimonia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eudaimonia

The six-factor structure of eudaimonia in psychology are as follows (as conceptualized by C.D. Ryff):

  1. Autonomy
  2. Personal growth
  3. Self-acceptance
  4. Purpose in life
  5. Environmental mastery
  6. Positive relations with others

Eudaimonia also refers to a guardian spirit, as the etymology of the word means good spirit. I know that (through personal experience) the sensation of joy, happiness, etc is a very similar feeling to that of being in a higher state of consciousness. Perhaps eudaimonia is our higher self, and the emotional interpretation of the state of being is in the sensation of atonement? Perhaps the atonement (also, today in Unity we talked about atonement, and seeing the basic breakdown of the word: at-one-ment was a refreshing a-ha moment for me) is the elusive Holy Guardian Angel, the actualization of self. This subject, I shall seek further understanding later. For tonight, I will end with the realization that on October 5, my saturn return shall be over. I have less than a month to celebrate the most interesting three years of my life. My, what a ride it has been, I can’t wait to look back on how far I have traveled.

When I am awake, you see, I know that I am dreaming, so that they must be very silly children, don’t you think?

Liber XCV

The Wake World

THE WAKE WORLD
A TALE FOR BABES AND SUCKLINGS
(WITH EXPLANITORY NOTES IN HEBREW AND LATIN FOR THE USE
OF THE WISE AND PRUDENT

http://hermetic.com/crowley/libers/lib95.html





Back to school, Annie auditions and Moon Cocoons (from Jupiter Space)

15 08 2012

http://mystic-sherpa.blogspot.com/2012/08/back-to-school-annie-auditions-and-moon.html

Kids open houses are this week, just had Perry’s yesterday at the Kindergarten Learning Center, and he is very excited about his teacher and school! We live so close to the school that a bus doesn’t even come, so we will be walking to the girl’s school and Perry will be riding a bus to the Kindergarten from the elementary school. We popped some sweet potatoes in the oven this morning and went on a walk to the school, only took 17 minutes! We also are slowly becoming more involved in the community theater here in Sebring, and Todd went to a toast that was held for his former high school drama teacher yesterday at the theater. He had a good time, made some good connections and found out that the long awaited Annie auditions are upon us!! The girls will be auditioning (their first auditions!) on Saturday, doing cold readings (we’re practicing with parts from Annie as well as books we enjoy reading as performances, like the Gruffalo) and we’re very excited! Also, spent some time looking at this page today that has some really awesome eco-dome designs (the moon cocoon): http://calearth.org/building-designs/eco-dome.html

(check out this website, awesome designs that are very inspiring)

About to post another round of eBay auctions tomorrow, will update as soon as posted. Last run of auctions were very successful, I just have to get in the habit of weekly thrifting and listing. Once the kids are in school and it’s just Alden and I at home we’ll find a smooth flow to the art of continuity with postings.





Observation Log: 8/11/12, 12:27 am

11 08 2012

The city’s slumber falls with heavy robes of echoed dreams. Now that no one is looking, the night awakens in a muted symphony of cricket serenades accompanied by distant wind chimes. The trees tonight… they are dancing in an invisible stillness to a silent wind. Beneath the street lamps,  shadows extend in collaboration, forming geometric ravines that paint the landscape in a cubist fantasy. I breathe in the world around me and carry these images into the ether, joining the world of the sleepers… in hopes of lucidity.





can’t sleep, thinking of the old (and of you)

31 07 2012

I miss my best friend. I wish I had the energy to write an eloquent sonnet for how much I miss her,  or to write a tale of our history together ending with that bitter, pointless ill worded falling out at the Indian buffet before we moved to Florida. I’ve just had the deep longing to smell her hair and see her mossy eyes, and to play dress up with her and be silly. I suppose my growing comes in waves, and in retrospect I lost a great deal of myself after the divorce, and after the restructuring of self began. I suppose in order to find yourself you do truly have to lose yourself first. Then again, was the self perceived to be lost ever actually found? Regardless, there was an innocence during the days of our most intimate moments together, and I think I had to experience that loss of the perceived innocence. I had to feel with empathy and without defenses what her emotions and her vantage point really felt like. It’s resonance is deep within the chasms of my being. I can only look around at the fractured pieces of my old life and understand that a new universe is before me, and with certainty I can walk forward, and take with me those hidden glittering, delicious faery magick particles that carry with them that spirit of innocence, of hope and of bliss. To the silly slavic faery lady with the eyes of sea moss, I love you. Thank you for all the magick you sang to me.