Clouds and Taxes

16 04 2013

I’ve been in that birdcage place in my mind for the last few days. On a rational level, I could claim that it’s any of the laundry list of influences- hormones, vomiting children, procrastination on spring cleaning and taxes, inability of seeing forests for the dicotyledons… but more than anything I have this enigmatic itch to jump out of my skin, I feel restless, I feel an adventure in the making… but where is the source of this feeling? I laid on the girls bed today while the kids were playing and/or reading… I listened to some classical music while I stared out the window at the clouds. I was giving myself a secret meditation time while the kids were on self sustained mode for the moment. I looked at the conglomerate of clean laundry to fold and walked right past, plopped down on the futon and released all the spent air that had been churning in and out of my spirit during the day that I had stamped as overwhelming even before it unfolded. We live in an old Mason’s lodge built in 1923, and the girls room is a golden cream color with huge cathedral like windows. We are well above the tree line, so lying down on their bed and looking out the window gives you the sensation of floating along with the clouds. The clouds today were real clouds, the sort of clouds I watched the wings of planes crossing oceans slice into… the sort of clouds that entertained me throughout most of my childhood. I was a quiet child, I preferred the freedom of playing by myself over playing with friends most of the time, because it gave me the undisturbed peace of staring at clouds for hours, or lying in the clover watching the world of insects move in their chessboard trajectory. When I was about Sylvia’s age, we started moving. I suppose it threw off some of my familiarity with the world I knew, but I eventually began to lose my bond with the girl who stares at clouds. I never much liked talking, it always seemed like a silly practice. I mean, there were certainly people and circumstances that allowed me to feel safe in talking about anything and everything, but for the most part, I avoided it and learned to speak in the silent language of Nature. Staring at those clouds today gave me this surreal out of body like feeling. Nostalgia, yet experience anew. My senses are tuning into old sights, scents and sounds and something is being reformatted. I used a pink cherry scented highlighter today while filing my taxes, and it smelled just like my Grandfather’s pipe tobacco. Is this sense of urging my higher self steering me into the creative process? Is this new emergence of old data part of growing up, or is it more ancient and sacred? Is this what a soul’s calling feels like? The fragmented song that you only ever catch a part of, that fades before you can hear it’s entirety… the tweaking of rabbit ears to clear the static. Something profound is afoot.

Elfriede Stegemeyer girl in clouds

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spontaneous, premature solar revolution ritual

30 03 2013

Today, while randomly scrolling through my facebook I noticed that the local tattoo parlor was having a $30 2″ x 2″ black and gray custom tattoo special. I decided this was a good idea, and just as I walked out the door to take the kids to the playground, I called back to Todd that I was thinking of doing this. I thought about it more and more while the kids played. I knew instantly what I was going to choose- the bunny as a bird from the Runaway Bunny, who is resting on a branch from the tree the mother turns into. The mother who will “be a tree that you fly home to”

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I have been pondering this tattoo idea since long before Madelyn, Perry or Alden were born. From the moment I opened that page while reading it to baby Sylvia 10 years ago, I knew it was going to be my tattoo one day. I walked back with the kids to have lunch and get settled, and decided that this was a perfectly rational thing for me to do today, so I told Todd I was going to do it, made sure he was cool with me running out, and headed over. The tattoo shop was interesting, and like most tattoo shops, there were a bunch of guys hanging out watching a movie, watching youtube, listening to music, ordering food and having a smoke break. There were pictures of people making faces while getting tattooed on the walls, which was a minor amusement as I waited for the artist to be ready. This is my sixth tattoo, but my first work in three years (my last was my steampunk menagerie moth for my twenty ninth birthday). As he began the outline I started reading the portion of my anthropology text “Rituals and Beliefs” compiled by David Hicks about the need for ritual. The article in particular that I was reading was debating whether Durkheim was being too narrow in his concept about the construction of ritual, and proposes that rite precedes belief. I closed the book and enjoyed the tattooing, and reflected on how important, as a rite, and how very sacred each one of my tattoo experiences have been. Before I left the house, I was trying to explain the concept of getting tattooed, why it is important to me on a personal and spiritual level, and I decided that I would blog about it. In fact, I think I will continue this, as I could write a great volume about this concept and tonight is the night I have an ice cream and West Side Story date with Sylvia. For tonight, I will conclude with this- there is truly no experience like getting a tattoo. It is a beautiful, pleasurable and yet painful sensation that takes your mind out of your body and transforms your body into something new, it is the alchemy of the flesh- it is the art and magick of creation, concept made into material through ritual, through impermanent cellular sacrifice. More later, here’s the final work (pictures from cell phone, apologies for substandard quality) from my twitter:

and

More, tomorrow…





the bored haiku

26 03 2013

rain like the ocean

yet the window remains dry

just static T.V?

 

staticage





Props to dance and theater families

19 09 2012

Whoa!

What a whirlwind of a month September has been! We have one day per week not assigned to play practice/choreography, dance class, girl scouts or etc… Saturdays. We love it, the kids are doing amazing, and the girls are blowing me away with how fast they can catch on to some rather intricate choreography! My, what little performers they are! I’m hoping to obtain the director’s permission to share some clips of rehearsals so you can see how amazing this production of Annie is going to be!

I would love to blog more about this, but I am so exhausted I just want my late dinner and a movie with my wonderful, magical, amazing partner (who is so supportive to all of us in our new adventures in theater, and helps me remember to laugh, hydrate and breathe). In conclusion, I have to say that theater families are awesome, hardcore and really supportive of one another as a tribe and it’s so great to have such a blessing to be welcomed into a challenging, yet very rewarding world of parenting. I am excited to look back at our progress over the year and can’t wait to enjoy each and every step of the process of getting there.

This is as close as I could find to similarities in the choreography for one of the dance numbers, and this is still nowhere near as intricate and interesting as what our very talented choreographers have constructed:

Never Fully Dressed (the Reprise, so just the latter half of the performance) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIbekta1RKU&feature=related

and I have scoured youtube looking for a similar performance of Hard Knock Life, and most shows have a more simple version of it than ours is going to be, I found this one from Melbourne that was close, the performance itself does not begin until the 30 second mark of the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=8r2zX0xf8M4

Hopefully will have pictures and videos to share soon of the progress!





skipping writing (briefly)

16 07 2012

this week, so far has been about research and discovery. Began my dancing lessons for teacher training today, and wow. Pole dancers should be Olympic athletes. Intense! I’m going to give it another go, but so far am fearing that it will require too much of my energy as madre de cuatro hijos, partner and entrepreneur/inventor/creator/artist. Will force myself to sit down and do a noon quick writing tomorrow, not sure how much I’m liking the plinky idea anymore, went for inspiration today and found 90% of the content sounds like it was written with the intention of creating a facebook quiz by teenagers. I think I will start a random wikipedia article or thesaurus word for inspiration for the noon quick writing exercises. At any rate, painting in the works, and about to get out the costume kit and work on the fascinators and at least one belly dance bra. Randomly asked by the owner of a shop in town to create some jewelry for her shop, going to get started on that and figure out some pricing. In general I need to focus on getting more organized at the moment, and creating a schedule to help balance the time as mama with time to get work done. I think I will be moving my office into the sun room (which is currently being used as the kid’s play area) and restructuring their play/art space so that I can get work done while they are having free play and art time. Sylvia has been creating loads of manga drawings lately, and Madelyn has been writing a lot of fables. Both girls have checked out a graphic novel with every novel each week at the library this summer, and they are beginning to show a real interest in writing and illustrating. I’ve decided to create them both monitored and parent filtered blogs for their writing and drawing, so that family and friends can keep us, as well as their very own email addresses (which will also be monitored and parent filtered). I’m rambling at this point, perhaps over compensation for my recent lack of blogging, so I will sign off. Time to go get some laundry, dinner and boy’s hair cuts done!

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optional title

13 07 2012

Today was filled with green smoothies, rain soaked in sunshine, aquamarine playdough and some further research in chinese medicine and macrobiotics. Since I slowly started eating more raw, vegan and macrobiotic and have nearly eliminated all caffeine, sugar and tobacco, I have felt a calm awareness that I forgot existed. I’m taking each day in strides with the growing heaps of projects, and with everyday that I am loving my body and mind deeper, I am less intimidated by all that lies ahead. Projects galore! I have just been offered a position as an apprentice dance instructor at an aerial and pole art studio. This will include intensive training over the next few weeks to begin teaching two one hour classes a day monday through friday within the next four to six weeks. I will also be constructing a fusion class combining what I am learning with what I already know. I get access to the studio for choreography, which I have been longing and lusting for immensely for quite some time now! There are some guerrilla playground children’s theater projects in the works, more on that later, though I will say: revamping and presentation of the ten principles in a suitable manner, cross culturally, through performances for children. Clown Cleanup Crew (C cubed) will follow each performance with a MOOP sweep of the playground area. But I digress, instead of listing all my projects I will just say that I am very proud of myself for not losing the patience or faith in the process, and for doing what I need for myself to keep on track and not feel intimidated. This is an interesting new chapter, and I am enjoying every moment. And now, kiddies, it’s that time again for the nearly five o’clock kid time and dinner prep, so I will end this with:

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In the realm of ideas everything depends on enthusiasm… in the real world all rests on perseverance.”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe